Make up a joke

[mortiz-Redux]

I want to see some new material, if you reuse any jokes someone's bound to catch you out. They don't have to be amazing jokes, but semi-decent.

OK, I'll go first:

Did you hear the controversy about the guy who went to hospital for a Viagra overdose and died? Apparently he caught a bad case of Stiffycockus (play on Staphylococcus in case you don't get it)

 

[Rizzo]

Yeah I don't see how this is going to work.

 

[Tyguy]

ya, these are posted about once every 2 months or so...and the same jokes seem to be regurgitated each time.

on that note, i took a viagra last night but it got stuck in my throat...i had a stiff neck for hours. (thank you austin powers)

 

[The Monkey]

I got one!

mortiz-Redux is a funny guy.

 

[Cpt Tenacious]

So my friend walks up to me and I notice he has a pickle in his ear, so I say "Hey man, why do you have a pickle in your ear?" and he says "What? I can't hear you! I have a pickle in my ear!".

 

[Rizzo]

Like I said. This will fail.

And I got nothing.

 

[Murray]

Hey, look behind you! It's the oldest trick in the book!

 

[Shift]

I've got a joke.

This thread.

 

[jet_porkins]

Who freed the water slaves in biblical times?

Spoiler

Os-moses

edit:

What do you tell a guy who is eating all the Hogandaz ice cream bars?

Spoiler

Quit hoggin' daz ice cream bars.

 

[<RJMC>]

a chinese a rastafari and a jew enter into a bar,and the bartender says "what is this? some kind of joke?"

 

[Solaris]

RJMC whilt pay all the wimens whit rape dollars

 

[PJ]

on that note, i took a viagra last night but it got stuck in my throat...i had a stiff neck for hours. (thank you austin powers)

IThankYuo!

****ing love those movies. UNLIKE THIS THREAD.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Acepilotf14 walks into a bar and asks the Bartender "Make me a Vegeta" and the Bartender asks "What's a Vegeta?" and Ace says "Well first you put on a pair of cat ears and candy panties then you have Vegeta come over and buttf*ck you with his freakishly large chin while you scream kyaaaa~ until he decides to take his god awfully small almost Japanese dick out, dip it in a vat of chocolate, and puts his now almost Pocky-like dick in your mouth then you wake up the next morning with a serious stomach ache and a limited edition Kagami Lucky Star figurine shoved somewhere in your colon I never went over that part but yeah some how that figurine gets lodged in your colon and you pretty much need to be rushed to the hospital."

 

[Murray]

words

You ruined sex for me.

 

[Vegeta897]

Acepilotf14 walks into a bar and asks the Bartender "Make me a Vegeta" and the Bartender asks "What's a Vegeta?" and Ace says "Well first you put on a pair of cat ears and candy panties then you have Vegeta come over and buttf*ck you with his freakishly large chin while you scream kyaaaa~ until he decides to take his god awfully small almost Japanese dick out, dip it in a vat of chocolate, and puts his now almost Pocky-like dick in your mouth then you wake up the next morning with a serious stomach ache and a limited edition Kagami Lucky Star figurine shoved somewhere in your colon I never went over that part but yeah some how that figurine gets lodged in your colon and you pretty much need to be rushed to the hospital."

This is a hilarious joke.

 

[Nomad]

Duke Nukem Forever.

 

[L3N!N]

Your mom's like Abe Lincoln.

Spoiler

She's tall as **** and she has a dick.[

 

[Rizzo]

I fell asleep with my socks on today. Then I woke up and came on here to tell you about it.
Im not sure what thread im posting in but I just checked and saw it was the joke thread.

So a dead baby joke. Those are funny. How many does it take to paint a room?
Depends on how hard you throw them.

I just came up with that. No shit.

 

[Maestro]

Kill yourself Rizzo.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

This is a hilarious joke.

 

[delusional]

made this up when i was 7 or something.

Why did the icecream man cross the road?

Spoiler

to get to some rocky road icecream

 

[Dog--]

I fell asleep with my socks on today. Then I woke up and came

There.

 

[Rizzo]

Im sorry.

 

[Shift]

There.

wtf LOL.

 

[Teta_Bonita]

PHYSICIST JOKE ALERT



Yo mamma's so fat, they don't measure her weight, they measure her Schwarzschild radius.

 

[Sheepo]

Willie is the only goodness in this thread.

 

[Glue]

What has 2 legs and is walking away from his compu

 

[Dog--]

wtf LOL.

I got a lol. I did my job.

BTW that joke is copyright (c) Dog-- of HL2.net any copyright infringement will result in a fine minimum $100,000.