Darkside55
The Freeman
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2009
- Messages
- 12,083
- Reaction score
- 90
Wow, I just got one of the best phone calls.
So, some of you might recall I posted recently about how my friend and I started dressing in 80's style and pretending we are in a band. Well, as I'm sitting here posting on HL2.net said friend calls me up just now.
"Hello?" I say.
"Heyyyy, what are you doing right now?" He usually asks me this if he wants to hang out. I just got done being out all weekend (I'm out almost every weekend doing something), and I'm tired.
"Uh, nothing right now, but I don't want to--"
"I JUST GOT KICKED OUT OF A MANSION."
"...What?"
"Yeah dude! *unintelligible gibberish*"
"Ok wait, what mansion?"
"Huh? I can't hear you because of all the cars going by; you hear 'em? I'm on the road. I don't know where I am."
"What mansion?"
"Ok, so I met up with this chick while ghost hunting." The term 'ghost hunting' is literal; my friend believes in ghosts, and he hooked up with some other idiot that I don't know who has been getting him and another friend to go out to stupid places that would never be haunted even if such a thing were possible, like parks and shit. Most of us friends think it's retarded, but apparently it paid off, because continuing on: "She came and picked me up and we drove for awhile and went to her house, it's like three football fields of land. And her parents weren't home, so we started having sex on her big leather couch while watching Monk, and her parents came back and they weren't having that, so they threw me out."
"Her parents threw you out?"
"Yeah, big Texan-looking dude. So I'm on the side of the road right now dressed in my blue leopard skin pants, British flag tank top, and rainbow bandana."
"Haha, damn dude I want a Union Jack shirt. That's my favorite flag. You should've told her you were in a band."
"How do you think I got with her in the first place? I went to Youtube at her house and put on some Vesuvius song and told her it was us. And she's coming into town for like three days; we could totally DP that shit. We just need to print out a picture of Sex with the Sorceress," (our first album) "and give her a pamphlet or something."
"Hahaha. So where are you right now? Any civilization? Do you see any signs?"
"No, there's nothing here. There was a house I passed awhile back..."
"You should go back and ask for a glass of water, and where the hell you are."
"It's too hot; I'm not walking back in all this heat. There are no signs. I don't know where I am. I think I'm gonna try hitching it."
"Better put down the phone then."
"Ok. Hey, leave your phone on."
"I'll leave it on, but I gotta use the bathroom."
"Alright, I'll call you in a bit. Peace."
So I go and use the bathroom, and right as I'm finishing up I hear a ring. I'm not gonna answer it 'cause I've gotta wash my hands. I'll call him back in a sec. Washing my hands...it rings again. 'Damn, hold on," I think. I rush out to grab it.
"Yo."
"HEY! I'm in Fontana."
"Where the fuck is Fontana?"
"I don't know. But I met this guy, his name's Kurt, he's gonna give me a ride if I buy him some booze. So I'm gonna go to this liquor store and he's gonna give me a ride back in his truck. I'll try to be back in town later today."
"Alright then. You might want to call [I list off some friends who can actually take him home from Modesto to Turlock]; that way you don't have to stop off at my house and make two trips."
"Ok, alright, I gotta go. Peace!"
After we got off the phone I google map'd Fontana, California. HE'S IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. Past LA, near Rancho Cucamonga. How he got that far I don't even know; that's like six hours away from here. He's at least six hours away riding with some dude in a pickup truck back home from getting thrown out of a rich Texan's mansion. Hopefully he doesn't end up raped or in a bathtub full of ice missing a liver.
This is the kind of shit that happens when you're in Snake Medicine.
So, some of you might recall I posted recently about how my friend and I started dressing in 80's style and pretending we are in a band. Well, as I'm sitting here posting on HL2.net said friend calls me up just now.
"Hello?" I say.
"Heyyyy, what are you doing right now?" He usually asks me this if he wants to hang out. I just got done being out all weekend (I'm out almost every weekend doing something), and I'm tired.
"Uh, nothing right now, but I don't want to--"
"I JUST GOT KICKED OUT OF A MANSION."
"...What?"
"Yeah dude! *unintelligible gibberish*"
"Ok wait, what mansion?"
"Huh? I can't hear you because of all the cars going by; you hear 'em? I'm on the road. I don't know where I am."
"What mansion?"
"Ok, so I met up with this chick while ghost hunting." The term 'ghost hunting' is literal; my friend believes in ghosts, and he hooked up with some other idiot that I don't know who has been getting him and another friend to go out to stupid places that would never be haunted even if such a thing were possible, like parks and shit. Most of us friends think it's retarded, but apparently it paid off, because continuing on: "She came and picked me up and we drove for awhile and went to her house, it's like three football fields of land. And her parents weren't home, so we started having sex on her big leather couch while watching Monk, and her parents came back and they weren't having that, so they threw me out."
"Her parents threw you out?"
"Yeah, big Texan-looking dude. So I'm on the side of the road right now dressed in my blue leopard skin pants, British flag tank top, and rainbow bandana."
"Haha, damn dude I want a Union Jack shirt. That's my favorite flag. You should've told her you were in a band."
"How do you think I got with her in the first place? I went to Youtube at her house and put on some Vesuvius song and told her it was us. And she's coming into town for like three days; we could totally DP that shit. We just need to print out a picture of Sex with the Sorceress," (our first album) "and give her a pamphlet or something."
"Hahaha. So where are you right now? Any civilization? Do you see any signs?"
"No, there's nothing here. There was a house I passed awhile back..."
"You should go back and ask for a glass of water, and where the hell you are."
"It's too hot; I'm not walking back in all this heat. There are no signs. I don't know where I am. I think I'm gonna try hitching it."
"Better put down the phone then."
"Ok. Hey, leave your phone on."
"I'll leave it on, but I gotta use the bathroom."
"Alright, I'll call you in a bit. Peace."
So I go and use the bathroom, and right as I'm finishing up I hear a ring. I'm not gonna answer it 'cause I've gotta wash my hands. I'll call him back in a sec. Washing my hands...it rings again. 'Damn, hold on," I think. I rush out to grab it.
"Yo."
"HEY! I'm in Fontana."
"Where the fuck is Fontana?"
"I don't know. But I met this guy, his name's Kurt, he's gonna give me a ride if I buy him some booze. So I'm gonna go to this liquor store and he's gonna give me a ride back in his truck. I'll try to be back in town later today."
"Alright then. You might want to call [I list off some friends who can actually take him home from Modesto to Turlock]; that way you don't have to stop off at my house and make two trips."
"Ok, alright, I gotta go. Peace!"
After we got off the phone I google map'd Fontana, California. HE'S IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. Past LA, near Rancho Cucamonga. How he got that far I don't even know; that's like six hours away from here. He's at least six hours away riding with some dude in a pickup truck back home from getting thrown out of a rich Texan's mansion. Hopefully he doesn't end up raped or in a bathtub full of ice missing a liver.
This is the kind of shit that happens when you're in Snake Medicine.
