re: depressed as hell. Looking for suggestions.

BabyHeadCrab

BabyHeadCrab

The Freeman
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I can't drive, I can't do drugs (clean 4 months... from everything). I'm not in school or work and have very little means of commuting to those places... unless my mom literally drops me off. I think I have to grit it and just be a manchild for a while, it's just so damn hard.

Any tips on how to deal with crippling depression? I just want something to take the place of my other childish and destructive coping mechanisms (like party lifestyle/drugs/meaningless sex). Gaming isn't really helping... I just want to sleep all the time. Open to anything within reason really.

I try meditation and breathing and occasionally working out... I just can't develop a consistent routine easily. I'm also badly A.D.H.D and have a non-verbal learning disability that gives me a hard time with math and languages. I don't even listen to music anymore, it just sounds like noise.

...but hell I'm only a year away from graduating with a Bachelors. Problem is, I have no idea who the **** I am or what I want to be or how to achieve what I desire.

What's been helpful to you guys or girls?
 
I really hate seeing when a person's previous coping mechanisms suddenly decrease in effect (old habits like reading, gaming, listening to music, etc. that had once made a person happy no longer do anything to elevate mood). A common piece of advice to alleviate that is "Well, try something new. Pick up a new hobby. Do something constructive." The problem is when a depressed person finds something that is enjoyable, it doesn't usually last. And "constructive" activities are, most times, very boring. Eventually, there's so much boredom (because a blunt affect has developed), many turn to just sleeping. All day. It seems like you may be going through something like that.

I've found that surrounding yourself with other people typically helps. Family, friends, etc. It's best to not isolate yourself. Keeping to yourself will not help your symptoms; most likely increase them. Though, since you have a history of drug use, try to keep away from any of those connections that typically enabled you to use. I don't know anything about your social life, but you mentioned your Mom. You could always start there (if you have a good relationship with her, of course). Do things with her more. And, if you feel comfortable, you could expose your depressive feelings to her. She could be a source of support for you.

Above all, if you can afford it/have insurance, I recommend seeking mental health treatment via a social worker or therapist. A trained professional will be able to help you loads more than any internet forum will. You also mentioned college, so (if enrolled) you may be able to find such service through your college health center for free.
 
Thank you for the thoughtful reply, Six. I'll definitely be reading it in more detail when I pass out. Expect a full reply soon, just wanted to say thanks before I pass out. I definitely DO need to find a way to just simply spend more time around people.
 
Talking to people does often help, man. Especially people close to you. Depression symptoms f*cking suck. Hope you come out the other side ASAP and unscathed.
 
I know how you feel, man. Well not exactly, of course, but I struggle with depression as well. Gaming usually just makes me feel like shit tbh.

I find that exercise sometimes helps put me in a better frame of mind. It's honestly the best natural antidepressant. It can be hard to motivate sometimes but even just going out for a walk can be good. I find that whenever my body is in a healthier state that my mind often feels better, and vice versa. Sometimes when I'm feeling anxious I'll be like "**** this, **** this, **** this" and then I'll just go and run for a while and get it out.

It's normal to not know what you want to do even though you are close to getting your bachelor's degree. I got mine three years ago and still don't know what the **** I'm doing. A degree honestly won't help you figure out what you want, but it's better to have it then not to have it. It's just like another thing to get under your belt.

I know that you said that music just sounds like noise, anymore, but here's a song to make you more depressed :)
 
I've felt depression like symptoms, but nothing quite on your level. I know gaming can sometimes just end up feeling like a chore, or music might not have that kick you might've felt before. My once a blue moon kind of pick me up is drawing. I don't spend much time in my room besides playing my 3DS or sleeping, but an hr or so before sunset was a really nice time to just draw something. I don't draw often because I like to have something to be drawing for (in this case it was my FF which I told you about personally). But for that case specifically it ended up being a couple months work but I really felt dedicated to doing it. I seriously think the setting helped, sunshine does wonders in contrast to my man cave for PC and console gaming.

But that's just my situation. Six really knows what he's talking about :)
 
you guys should get help. there are associations in your city that deal with this sort of thing on a daily basis. dont know how your health system works but in canada there's quite a bit of resources to go to if you dont want to go the family doctor route. hell there's even in patient emergency services for people in distress. if you live in toronto/ontario I can give you all sorts of resources and services from people who are trained in depression and not just a general practice who's method of dealing with it is prescribing drugs
 
I think many of you would be interested in reading this comic. It's a self-perspective from a woman with severe major depression. It is really educational about the sudden drop-off of interest in previously enjoyed activities, the increase in boredom, and, eventually, the complete elimination of emotions all together.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

The most important message she displays, though, is of how she identified that a sort of unexplainable change/reappearance of a completely random emotion was enough to give her a sense of "hope". She found that the simple return of a emotion indicated that there is some possibility that her other emotions could return. It's a sort of "hope" that seems more logical than the typical bombardment of "hopeful" advice and positivity that depressed people are given.
"And even if everything still seems like hopeless bullshit, maybe it's just pointless bullshit or weird bullshit or possibly not even bullshit."
Click to expand...
I really enjoy that comic. I think Krynn or someone posted it a few weeks ago. Totally relates to this thread, imo.
 
sixteenth said:
I think many of you would be interested in reading this comic. It's a self-perspective from a woman with severe major depression. It is really educational about the sudden drop-off of interest in previously enjoyed activities, the increase in boredom, and, eventually, the complete elimination of emotions all together.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

The most important message she displays, though, is of how she identified that a sort of unexplainable change/reappearance of a completely random emotion was enough to give her a sense of "hope". She found that the simple return of a emotion indicated that there is some possibility that her other emotions could return. It's a sort of "hope" that seems more logical than the typical bombardment of "hopeful" advice and positivity that depressed people are given.

I really enjoy that comic. I think Krynn or someone posted it a few weeks ago. Totally relates to this thread, imo.
Click to expand...

loooooovvvvvvvvve this new Hyperbole :)
 
This is the saddest thing I've seen all day. I'm sorry you're feeling like this bro. How old are you, BHC? (If you don't mind my asking.)

Have you tried deep existential philosophy? That's what I get depressed about more often than not. Generally when I spiral into these "What's the point?" cycles, I listen to a ton of metal and drink heaps of coffee and watch/research the most depressing stuff imaginable. It's like multiplying the bad thoughts until they're all dried up, and then replacing them with positive stuff.

This generally works for me, I don't wanna bitch about what has essentially been a good life, but at times I get those feelings.

Above all, seek help. Depression is not a weakness.
 
Talking definitely helps, if you can do it. In the past I've had 2 different counsellors, the first was brilliant and helped me deal with certain things I never thought of before. She left tho and the second one was friggin useless... a pretentious twat who kept turning everything I said into something completely unrelated and not actually listening to what the problem was. These days, I'm quite happy with my close circle of friends that I trust talking to. It took a while to trust them enough to open up completely, but it was worth it cos I don't hit rock bottom as often as i used to. Someone is always there to give me a slap.

The other thing I tend to do is find something to obsess over. Sure, its a short term thing but that's fine with me. My last major depression saw me revisiting my childhood Warhammer 40k obsession, reading books, visiting the local store and even playing a few battles. This time round, I've discovered the obsessive frustration of Dungeons of Dredmor. It is a distraction until I can either talk to someone, or until my demons feck off and leave me alone.

Hope you get somewhere, dude. Depression does indeed suck when there is no-one around to help you out.
 
JUL3 said:
This is the saddest thing I've seen all day. I'm sorry you're feeling like this bro. How old are you, BHC? (If you don't mind my asking.)

Have you tried deep existential philosophy? That's what I get depressed about more often than not. Generally when I spiral into these "What's the point?" cycles, I listen to a ton of metal and drink heaps of coffee and watch/research the most depressing stuff imaginable. It's like multiplying the bad thoughts until they're all dried up, and then replacing them with positive stuff.

This generally works for me, I don't wanna bitch about what has essentially been a good life, but at times I get those feelings.

Above all, seek help. Depression is not a weakness.
Click to expand...

24. Can't drink coffee because it gives me panic attacks n' stuff. I do love philosophy but it's hard for me to get into with an academic structure, etc. I know depression is a weakness, and not entirely a brain chemistry thing, but in my social situation and my location is definitely hard to overcome those elements.
 
BabyHeadCrab said:
24. Can't drink coffee because it gives me panic attacks n' stuff. I do love philosophy but it's hard for me to get into with an academic structure, etc. I know depression is a weakness, and not entirely a brain chemistry thing, but in my social situation and my location is definitely hard to overcome those elements.
Click to expand...

Try reading some Philosophy books in your own time, just for the interest, without the pressure of it being academic/purposeful.
Depression ain't a weakness man, it's an involuntary condition. Do you have a girlfriend or something? Family support only really goes so far, another person in your life that you can talk to about what's going on is the best thing you can get. You just gotta talk it out. Because once it's out, it's out, y'know? Depression, it seems to me, is just a cycle of internal unhappiness, feeding upon itself.
 
Recently went splitsville in a relationship that wasn't a good thing for either of us. I guess at that point I wasn't over the girl before her anyways. As for reading, I recently found my Kindle again, so I may see what interesting non-fiction there is on the store. I did a lot of contemporary philosophy in my first two years of college, so I may pick up something purely historical to change up the pace.

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies, guys.
 
Man, I'd have to say both. I worry constantly when I'm not completely devoid of emotion and vice versa.
 
Have you tried writing at all?

Keeping a journal may help you isolate your biggest sources of stress.

If you end up writing enough, it may also help you organize your thoughts. That's one less source of stress off of your mind.

It's a suggestion. Start out small. If you don't feel like doing anything, just force yourself to write one sentence. Write one sentence every day, on anything you feel like. Maybe it will turn into something cathartic.
 
This is such a trite response, but i'm a firm believer in two wheeled therapy.

Whether it be a bicycle, a moped, or a motorcycle, riding anything with two wheels often requires so much of your attention that the rest of the world will just totally melt away. The adventures a two wheeler can take you on can often bring you to the demeanor changing epiphany you seek, thus totally altering your perspective of the world for the better.

On top of that, riding your bike is great exercise, which in turn will totally murder the hormones and chemicals that incite stress.

Riding is just plain fun. Buy a bicycle and just explore your town on your own. Rally up your friends and just pedal around aimlessly bullshitting the whole way through. Spend a night taking your bike apart and getting totally engrossed in what makes it work. Riding my bike always seems to do the trick for me.
 
What music have you listened to before?
 
Hey, if that helps some people then power to them. Saw a group of people in their outfits in Toronto for pride weekend, seemed like very nice people.
 
To be honest I find furries kind of hilarious in some contexts but it also looks like a pretty fun outlet. Suits must be ****ing hot, though.

 
Of course, the furry fandom isn't for everyone and you will always come across people who don't understand and say negative (not to mention stereotypical) comments to us but I've found it a great fandom. I've met so many awesome people and going out suiting is a lot of fun, but you're right, it does get very hot! If you want to see more videos about the furry fandom I recommend searching for Uncle Kage on YouTube. He's a scientist but he is also chairman of Anthrocon (I'm sure any Valvetime members who live in Pittsburgh will be aware of Anthrocon), one of the biggest furry conventions. And for other fursuiter videos, I recommend looking up Ari. He's so cute and squeaky!
 
I actually talked to someone recently who was helping set up a furry con here (I don't think he was personally into it, sounded like he got roped into it by a friend who was). Had no idea it was even a thing here, but I guess we have (third world) internet too so there's no reason it shouldn't be. Personally I don't really get the whole idea of "fandom" in the first place, but that's probably because I've never liked anything enough to want to dress up as it in public. Or because I hate crowds at the best of times.
 
In the lazarus pit...babyheadcrab. You will get out mate, have faith. You are only 24 for crying out loud! You are not at the end. Nor at the beginning of the end! Not even close to it. So young Pulsing with youth and potential. Cripples, dementia patients and kids with cancer would give anything to swap places with you and your "issues".

Poetry!

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
 
BHC do you have a GF currently?
Pussy did wonders for my attitude and outlook on life.
And I'm pretty sure I've seen pics of you,your a good looking guy!
So it shouldn't be too hard to meet a **** buddy or GF.
pof.com works everytime atleast for me,and I'm barely a 6/10 haha.
 
unozero said:
BHC do you have a GF currently?
Pussy did wonders for my attitude and outlook on life.
And I'm pretty sure I've seen pics of you,your a good looking guy!
So it shouldn't be too hard to meet a **** buddy or GF.
pof.com works everytime atleast for me,and I'm barely a 6/10 haha.
Click to expand...


Yeah, clearly.
 
unozero said:
BHC do you have a GF currently?
Pussy did wonders for my attitude and outlook on life.
And I'm pretty sure I've seen pics of you,your a good looking guy!
So it shouldn't be too hard to meet a **** buddy or GF.
pof.com works everytime atleast for me,and I'm barely a 6/10 haha.
Click to expand...

This is astonishingly stupid.
 
Hey man, thanks again for the game! I added you on steam. I know you mentioned that gaming doesn't really help anymore, but maybe talking while gaming does! I have Skype, Vent, and TS is you're down for a good game sesh. I also have a group started that gets together once a week usually on the weekend and plays the GAIMZ together. You can join if you want. Any of you can! What University do you attend?
 
unozero said:
BHC do you have a GF currently?
Pussy did wonders for my attitude and outlook on life.
And I'm pretty sure I've seen pics of you,your a good looking guy!
So it shouldn't be too hard to meet a **** buddy or GF.
pof.com works everytime atleast for me,and I'm barely a 6/10 haha.
Click to expand...

Jesus.

Girls aren't things you just **** for fun and toss aside. They're human beings. Get to know them before you get in their pants.
 
Not all girls even want you to get to know them before getting to that. But I somehow doubt Mr. Cumato is the kind to adhere to strictly superficial means of escapism, but that's just a guess on my part.

Also, that furry pic took over my ability to highlight: http://imgur.com/smMzOlh
 
Shem said:
Jesus.

Girls aren't things you just **** for fun and toss aside. They're human beings. Get to know them before you get in their pants.
Click to expand...

spoken like a true virgin
 
Mogi67 said:
spoken like a true virgin
Click to expand...

People like you disgust me. People that treat women as nothing more than toys for their own amusement.

And yeah I am a virgin. Explain to me what that has to do with anything.
 
Shem said:
People like you disgust me. People that treat women as nothing more than toys for their own amusement.

And yeah I am a virgin. Explain to me what that has to do with anything.
Click to expand...

Haha. You deduced a lot about me from once sentence. Do you have your jump-to-conclusions mat always at the ready? Unozero was right about sex though, it can improve mood considerably. While your defense of women is honorable, and I agree that people use others wrongfully all of the time, women are just as guilty as men when it comes to mistreating others. It is not simply a male affliction
 
Mogi67 said:
Haha. You deduced a lot about me from once sentence. Do you have your jump-to-conclusions mat always at the ready?
Click to expand...

One sentence? Yeah, more like all of your recent posts. Maybe even the whole 917 of them, though I've neither the time nor the patience to wade through all the bullshit to get back there.
 
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