I'm close to tears... RIP bvasgm

I only vaguely remember him. I remember not knowing how to pronounce his screen name, and being relieved when everyone started calling him borgasm. I think I may have played a couple games of BF2 with him, but I didnt know him too well. But reading the post ennui quoted got me teary eyed. RIP Borgasm, and condolences to his family. I wish we could do something for them. It must be absolutely awful to lose someone in this way, especially since he sounds like a great person.
 
I remember him saying when it asked for his user name he just hit random letters with his fist and bvagsm came out.
 
I remember that too, haha.

I'd be up for doing something community-wise for the family.
 
Internet Death is a strange phenomenon. You can get to know someone quite well by always being conscious of the mask and distance between you. You are always aware of the absence of an accessable self on the end of that line; but when the line disappears utterly, the 'emptiness' is palpable. Death is a blunt violence that eliminates the distance, eliminates the line. We just get, very intensely, a sense of the presence that was on the other end of it, and most keenly felt when it is missed.

This is a great shame. ****, it's absurd. Like all the worst deaths. It seems arbitrary. I'm not exactly crying but this is an unpleasant thing to log on to; it makes me very sad indeed. But I'm a little happy too - that so many people have come out in whatever private mourning they can muster.*

RIP...er, Borgasm.

*also happy that there are no puns.
 
Sulkdodds said:
Internet Death is a strange phenomenon. You can get to know someone quite well by always being conscious of the mask and distance between you. You are always aware of the absence of an accessable self on the end of that line; but when the line disappears utterly, the 'emptiness' is palpable. Death is a blunt violence that eliminates the distance, eliminates the line. We just get, very intensely, a sense of the presence that was on the other end of it, and most keenly felt when it is missed.
Click to expand...

I don't really know why, but his death hits home for me in a more intense way, by far, than another death I've experienced in my lifetime. My dad's previous fiance's death, where I knew her for a couple years, lived with her for a while even along with my dad. She died of cancer, at a fairly advanced age.

I don't know if it's because of the age she died at or what, but for some reason it didn't hit me hard at all. bvasgm's death however, I can't stop thinking about it. I didn't really know him well at all, as I've said before, but something inside me is just shredded because of it. It might be because of his age, that he's gone so young, without having lived a full life, and because of that I see in it a part of myself. Whatever it is, I don't know, but it pains me deeply.
 
Qonfused said:
I remember that too, haha.

I'd be up for doing something community-wise for the family.
Click to expand...

He died six months ago, at this point they're long past the period of condolences and gifts and the like, and past needing them. I know there are some family members in that group on facebook, so maybe they will see our wall posts and know that he was valued by an entire other group of people they most likely had no idea about. But I don't think an organized community effort to send them food or a card or something would really be all that worthwhile - after the first month or two of a loved one dying all of the hubbub and storm of care and gifts dies down, and you welcome it, because you're just trying to get away from the loss.

However, if you want to, don't let me dissuade you, I just don't personally want to organize any sort of community thing about this; just pay my respects.
 
I know the name, and the avatar. I arrived just after his time - what I saw of him was posts in old threads.

This is an awful shame.

 
This really is horrendously sad. I think that the messages here speak for themselves, you're all really lovely people.
 
Shakermaker said:
Borgasm.jpg
Click to expand...

*shakes Shaker's hand.
 
Awful news, I remember him fondly as Borgasm, and though we never spoke much I always enjoyed reading what he had to say.

RIP Borgasm

:(
 
I remember playing with him in BF2 tonnes too :(

He was in that video we all made, which Qonfused put together, he's in the credits too. He actually had quite a big impact on a lot of us which is why it hurts as much as it does.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cQ9XtlsAP4
 
Ennui said:
He died six months ago, at this point they're long past the period of condolences and gifts and the like, and past needing them. I know there are some family members in that group on facebook, so maybe they will see our wall posts and know that he was valued by an entire other group of people they most likely had no idea about. But I don't think an organized community effort to send them food or a card or something would really be all that worthwhile - after the first month or two of a loved one dying all of the hubbub and storm of care and gifts dies down, and you welcome it, because you're just trying to get away from the loss.

However, if you want to, don't let me dissuade you, I just don't personally want to organize any sort of community thing about this; just pay my respects.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I realize that now. I forget that this happened awhile ago. I was just running of emotions when I posted that, :\

Glenn! You made my day! I thought those videos were completely lost as Filefront deleted them from their servers a LONG time ago. Thank you so much :)
 
I never knew bvgasm, but I always liked reading what he wrote. He seemed like a good person, and from what everyone says about him, I was right.

RIP bvgasm, I wish I had known you.
 
Damn, I only remember him vaguely for some reason. RIP.
 
Cripes, only just saw this thread; it always strikes home the most when it's 'one of the crowd', even if you didn't know them that well.

RIP man.
 
Qonfused said:
Yeah, I realize that now. I forget that this happened awhile ago. I was just running of emotions when I posted that, :\

Glenn! You made my day! I thought those videos were completely lost as Filefront deleted them from their servers a LONG time ago. Thank you so much :)
Click to expand...

I can upload both HL2.net vs BF2 and Having Fun videos in HQ somewhere, if you want, as I've got them on my HDD. You did a good job on them.
 
Is it normal that I feel so painfully terrible that last year we had a birthday thread for him and I plastered my regular perry bible fellowship birthday image in there.

And to top it off I slapped on a big fat "hetairia sucks!" message on it too.

<sigh>
 
Don't feel bad about that Raz. That shit is funny. I think whoever didn't get that birthday comic whould feel left out.
It's only a joke, and you can't know beforehand.
 
Rizzo said:
Don't feel bad about that Raz. That shit is funny. I think whoever didn't get that birthday comic whould feel left out.
It's only a joke, and you can't know beforehand.
Click to expand...

Exactly. That comic is part of HL2.net lore.
 
o u guize makin me blushhh

But yeah. The BF2 days were definitely the high point of my HL2.net days.
 
heh bvasgm's mother just added me as a friend on facebook with a note thanking me for what I wrote in the group.

I think Stern's idea is good, I could throw together a little Halflife2.net memorial page in his honor seeing as how I just got on Spring Break, but what should I put in it? His real name, brief details about his passing, and his real life picture obviously, other than that what? BF2 pic/vid, maybe that quote I posted earlier of his, comments somehow?
 
Ennui said:
heh bvasgm's mother just added me as a friend on facebook with a note thanking me for what I wrote in the group.

I think Stern's idea is good, I could throw together a little Halflife2.net memorial page in his honor seeing as how I just got on Spring Break, but what should I put in it? His real name, brief details about his passing, and his real life picture obviously, other than that what? BF2 pic/vid, maybe that quote I posted earlier of his, comments somehow?
Click to expand...

I think that would be a good idea. Throw up some of the bf2 stuff and quotes of his from the site. Would be a nice birthday gift.
 
Gawd, Tears are just rolling down my face at this moment. I can't describe how much Nick changed my life. He was genuinely a great person to be around. Oh, and another BF2 moment:

HL2.NET vs 256
sulkbvasgmjimbo.jpg


Sulks, Bvasgm, and Jimbo
 
Never knew the guy but all the same it sucks to hear of a death.
 
Qonfused said:
I'm a ****ing wreck right now, and I don't know why. I didn't know him well, but to KNOW someone who is just... gone.
Click to expand...

This is how I feel completely. I can't concentrate in class anymore, I burst out into tears in socials class on friday, and I just can't sleep any more.
 
I can't stop thinking about it either. I'm beyond the tears phase but my mind just cannot get off the subject for very long at all. It's like, I'm fine when I briefly think about the subject, but the moment the name 'bvasgm' come into my mind, it's just so painful. And still I barely knew him on the forums. But he was one of us, he posted here.

This is only the second time that I have dealt with death before in such a personal way.
 
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