Transformers 2: the Revenge Rotten Tomato score: 20%

[CptStern]

when I first checked the score on RT this more it was at 22%

Consensus: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a noisy, underplotted, and overlong special effects extravaganza that lacks a human touch

Good when it is good, but extremely, shockingly, horrifyingly bad when it is bad.

I hated every 149 minutes. This is so bad it's immoral. Michael Bay is a time-sucking vampire who will feast off your lost time. This is why the movie is so long.

...an ungainly and incomprehensible assault on the senses.

A great grinding garbage disposal of a movie, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen isn't so much a narrative film as a cacophonous series of explosions intermittently interrupted by needless dialogue.

"Beginning! Middle! End! Condense! Details! Plot!," yells John Turturro's G-man at a robot somewhere in the middle of the morass "Revenge of the Fallen" becomes. Forget "More than meets the eye." Michael Bay should have more so heeded that cry.

some of the mainstream movie crickets were a little more kind:

've just spent 2 1/2 hours watching a movie and another hour thinking about what I saw and I have no earthly idea what Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is about.

but what the hell do they know? ..lets ask the common man:

Transformers 2 review

First of all, the movie is 2 and a half hours long. The problem with this is there is no plot or continuous stream of thought in the movie to justify this length. It's just one thing after another for 2 and a half hours and there's never any "bridge" between scenes giving you any idea of what's going to happen in the next scene.

I couldn't tell any of the transformer robots (especially during the last sequence) apart from one another. I recognized bumblebee, optimus, devastator and that's it. So when there's a bunch of robots blowing each other up and shit you really can't tell who the good guys or the bad guys are, you just kind of have to sit there and guess who's who.

The movie is just this long 2 hour and 45 minute series of action sequences that are really bad. After seeing cloverfield, I expect really big on-screen monsters/robots to cause a lot of mayhem and honestly that never happened in T2, they just did karate moves on each other like a kid would with 2 action figures. In fact that's what all of the action sequences resemble

from the same guy, who's apparently black

Transformers 2 is completely racist. There are two robots in the movie who have big negro lips and huge monkey-like ears, self-claim that they "can't read", speak ebonics, and are constantly trying to kill each other. I was deeply offended. Is this what Michael Bay thinks of black people? One of the robots has a gold tooth, too.

to fair it wasnt all bad:

A well-oiled, loudly revving summer action vehicle that does all that’s required, and then some.

sounds kinda homoerotic


http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_revenge_of_the_fallen/?critic=creamcrop#contentReviews


I found this review funny:

This celluloid abortion should be buried in a vault and shown to film students as an example of big Hollywood at its worst.

because it was written by a writer at a paper called "Christianity Today"

 

[Barnz]

What were you expecting? It's worse than Transformers Salvation.

 

[CptStern]

rogert ebert's review is pretty funny

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

.....


Aware that this movie opened in England seven hours before Chicago time and the morning papers would be on the streets, after writing the above I looked up the first reviews as a reality check. I was reassured: "Like watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan!" (Bradshaw, Guardian); "Sums up everything that is most tedious, crass and despicable about modern Hollywood!" (Tookey, Daily Mail); "A giant, lumbering idiot of a movie!" (Edwards, Daily Mirror). The first American review, Todd Gilchrist of Cinematical, reported that Bay's "ambition runs a mile long and an inch deep," but, in a spirited defense, says "this must be the most movie I have ever experienced." He is bullish on the box office: it "feels destined to be the biggest movie of all time." It�¢??s certainly the biggest something of all time.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090623/REVIEWS/906239997


CHUD's Review:

This isn't one of those negative reviews where the critic bemoans how stupid the big summer blockbuster is (although Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is stupid beyond belief. Screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman claim that Michael Bay locked them in a hotel room for a month to write this movie; they obviously spent 29 and a half days watching pay per view porn and ordering room service); those kinds of pans are from sticks in the mud who either don't get blockbuster films or who are fighting a battle we lost back in 1985. No, this is one of those negative reviews that looks at a two and a half hour movie about giant robots fighting each other and asks just one question:

How can this movie be so ****ing boring?



I hated this movie. Despised it. During the screening I turned to Aint It Cool News' Mr. Beaks and said 'This is grueling.' He checked his watch and less than an hour had gone by - and we hadn't even gotten to the real filler yet (there is enough filler in this movie to provide the entire runtime of another film. There's about 90 minutes of absolute nothing smack dab in the center of Revenge of the Fallen). And we hadn't even gotten to the point where it became obvious that no one involved in the film cared enough to craft even the most rudimentary of stories or to be concerned about even the most simple of continuity: at one point the characters walk out of the back door of the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Washington DC and end up blatantly in Arizona at the Sorona Desert Airplane Graveyard. It's a breathtaking moment of not giving a shit, one that gives you an idea of how little thought and care went into the construction of the film.

this is

Spoiler

What bums me out is that there's not even much to laugh at in this movie. There's a scene at the end where Shia dies and goes to robot heaven (and I am not making this up), but that's too little too late.

If the rest of the movie had featured that kind of inane absurdity I might have been able to take the ride, but the rest of the movie is just dull

finally score: 1/10

 

[simonjedi]

This is the best transformers 2 review i've read:

http://io9.com/5301898/michael-bay-finally-made-an-art-movie?skyline=true&s=x

 

[Cpt Tenacious]

Looks great, I'll probably see it this weekend.

 

[staticprimer]

My only complaint about the movie was that they could have shortened it by taking out the "plot" heavy parts.

 

[Deleted member 56031]

Wow, I need to see it now

maybe it can top T4 as worst movie of the summer.

 

[Asknoone]

I desire to see both this and T4; I sporadically appreciate meditations on the truly despicable, and such a time is now - one critic did, after all, recommend it as a study in how not to make a movie. I quite agree with such... excursions.

 

[CptStern]

I think the biggest problem I have with Bay is that he's such an untalented hack yet studios seem to throw heaps of money at him. I mean he'd probably be watchable if he were small budget and indie ..I think the over the top action/directing is made worse because it has that patina of hollywood all over it. like a piece of shit that's been polished to a shiny gleam

 

[Letters]

This is the best transformers 2 review i've read:

http://io9.com/5301898/michael-bay-finally-made-an-art-movie?skyline=true&s=x

Makes me want to see it...

AMC are being buttholes, though, and charging full-price for this movie alone just 'cause it came out today. I refuse to pay 10 dollars for this!

 

[CptStern]

I went to see star trek the other day. it was $13.50 plus freakin $25 for 2 reg popcorn and 2 reg pops ..so $25 for about 30 cents worth of product

 

[staticprimer]

Well you only have yourself to blame for buying food at the theater.

 

[Lucid]

What the **** it's 2 and a half hours long?!
Jesus Christ.

 

[Warped]

I'm seeing it for free sometimes next week or the following week so i could care less if its great, good or just meh

 

[mortiz-Redux]

I've seen it, it was total garbage.

The plot was non-sensical, the characters fell into one of two categories : they were either completely pointless or incredibly annoying and the humour was a 10 year olds idea of wit. Seriously? Ebonic spouting robots? Plus it went on for ages.

Just a bad, bad, stupid, movie.

 

[unozero]

I told you so.

 

[Krynn72]

The first, comparatively lucid Transformers was a headache, but I sort of enjoyed it....Revenge of the Fallen is more like listening to rocks in a clothes dryer for 2½ hours.

Haha. Chicago Tribune wins.

 

[Krynn72]

I desire to see both this and T4; I sporadically appreciate meditations on the truly despicable, and such a time is now - one critic did, after all, recommend it as a study in how not to make a movie. I quite agree with such... excursions.

You should watch 2012: Doomsday then. Its not the new one thats coming out, but one that came out last year. Apparently its one of the worst films ever made and most people can't make it past the 30 minute mark. I'm watching it tonight.

EDIT: Oh snap, double post. I blame Samon.

 

[Deleted member 56031]

What the **** it's 2 and a half hours long?!
Jesus Christ.

Wait? It's benjamin button long? Oh for .... D:

 

[Sedako]

I won't be surprised if it still manages to break some sort of box office record. BEHOLD THE POWER OF SEX AND EXPLOSIONS!

 

[DEATH eVADER]

What were you expecting? It's worse than Transformers Salvation.

Is that Terminators Vs Transformers or something

 

[Sam]

Is that Terminators Vs Transformers or something

Oh God, what have you done?

 

[Eejit]

God help our sand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcaNZ4iHSMw

 

[PoeticRocker]

Justice is served. I really didn't want to see this either way, but not even my friends can convinced me to see this with them now.

 

[B_MAN]

this is very disappointing because i quite enjoyed the first

 

[gFrohman]

Not surprised. Bay is a terrible director; I was very unimpressed by the first trailer I saw, and the film is even worse IMO. Seems like a good candidate for worst film of the year.

 

[PoeticRocker]

 

[CptStern]

Well you only have yourself to blame for buying food at the theater.

do you bring your own sammiches?

 

[Rizzo]

I whould pay to see Transforminanators.

 

[SpotEnemyBoats]

Critic reviews never give positive reviews, period. I'm going to throughly enjoy it Saturday, more than the TDK... take that!

 

[Eejit]

The very definition of fanboyism.

 

[Stigmata]

Critic reviews never give positive reviews, period. I'm going to throughly enjoy it Saturday, more than the TDK... take that!

Maybe you just like bad movies?

 

[CptStern]

Critic reviews never give positive reviews, period. I'm going to throughly enjoy it Saturday, more than the TDK... take that!

look at how wrong you are:

J.J. Abrams proves his masterpiece can translate into great work on the big screen that all Trekkies will love.

The film is a success because of beautiful visuals, swift storytelling that never loses its momentum, and the sheer joy of having these characters back in our lives again.

... Youthful, fast-paced, thrilling, funny and fueled by an adventurous spirit.

the excellent action sequences plus an upbeat tone--an important element maintained from the source material- make for an adventure that zips by at warp speed.

Mixing warp speed action with tongue in cheek humor, this Trek beams brighter than a supernova.

and that's just one movie: Star trek. and that's just on the first page of over 200 reviews. the average score was 9.5. obviously they liked it

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_trek_11/

Un buen entretenimiento, liviano y efectivo, con algo que ofrecer tanto a los seguidores de la saga como a quienes no conocen nada de Star Trek.

trust me when I say it's a positive review

 

[SpotEnemyBoats]

The very definition of fanboyism.

Like wise the definition of a critic.

Maybe you just like bad movies?

I like Transporter 1, the Protector, Naked Gun movies, Back to the future movies, Pirates of the Carribean, etc.

look at how wrong you are:

How am I wrong? It's my opinion, right? You know, I'll be my own judge when I see it myself.

All the reviews are the same:

-Too long
-Takes itself too serious at times
-Not enough serious
-Too much action
-Too little action
-Too many robots
-Not enough robots

I just summed up the reviews, some can't make up their mind for their own good, at times.

and that's just one movie: Star trek. and that's just on the first page of over 200 reviews. the average score was 9.5. obviously they liked it

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_trek_11/




trust me when I say it's a positive review

Pro-tip: Sorry to burst your bubble, but I haven't seen the movie. Never been a fan of Star Trek.

 

[CptStern]

How am I wrong? It's my opinion, right?

yes and your opinion is wrong. you said they never give positive reviews. I just proved that they do. therefore you are wrong

You know, I'll be my own judge when I see it myself

so the reviewsers are wrong and you know this because you havent seen the movie yet? ya that makes a ton of sense

All the reviews are the same:

-Too long
-Takes itself too serious at times
-Not enough serious
-Too much action
-Too little action
-Too many robots
-Not enough robots

you make it sound as if there is no consensus after just saying they're all the same. make up your mind, which one is going to be? they're all the same or they have different opinions. But there is a consensus: it's crap, that's pretty obvious from the bulk of the reviews on that site

I just summed up the reviews, some can't make up their mind for their own good, at times.

so you're saying they should all have the same review? "they cant make up their minds" also suggests that they review collectively. one mass review.

Pro-tip: Sorry to burst your bubble, but I haven't seen the movie. Never been a fan of Star Trek.

"pro-tip" .. lol ...I swear this place attracts knuckle draggers by the dozen
. and I really dont care if you havent seen star trek or are a fan of the series, please explain what that has to do with anything?

 

[Darkside55]

A REVIEW FROM SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS ABOUT TRANSFORMERS (SPOILERS AHEAD)

It was OK. Just 'OK.' If I were to sum up my feelings on this movie in one word it would be "underwhelmed."

The first movie was a wonder because it was the first time the Transformers had been done live action; seeing them transform on the screen was a nostalgia explosion of Tsar Bomba proportions, so being able to watch that for the first time really contributed to the excitement of the movie, at least for me. The first movie had its flaws (stupid human characters, juvenile humor, semi-confusing fight scenes), but watching giant robots duke it out negated all of that, because this was Optimus Prime and Megatron slugging it out in a city, quoting lines from the '86 flick.

So, going into the second movie, at least for me it lost some of its "oomph" because I knew what to expect in terms of the robots transforming. A lot of the wow factor was missing from just watching them transform, so this film, in my eyes, had to stand up more in terms of action and plot rather than relying on sheer awesomeness of visuals.

For a movie that's intended to be an action blockbuster, the action is largely hit or miss with a pretty big divide: when the action is good it's really friggin' good, but when it's bad it's extremely poor: The Prime vs. Megatron, Starscream, and Grindor fight is, for lack of a better word, epic; even though I personally thought it was a little bullshit because in the first movie Megatron wiped the floor with Optimus singlehandedly. In this movie apparently Prime has reached godhood combat status, but it LOOKS good, so it's fun to watch. In contrast, the last hour of the movie is almost nonstop action, but it's boring and drags on far too long to keep anybody's interest. It's mainly no-name decepticons firing missiles wildly and a bunch of explosions from nowhere kicking up sand.

By the way, explosions from nowhere happen a lot. You're probably thinking, "Well, it's a Michael Bay movie, of COURSE there are ridiculous explosions"; you really don't understand, sometimes shit blows up for absolutely no reason. There was a scene where the decepticons are arriving on Earth and they're smashing through buildings, and at one point I was like, "Wow, he's just doing straight property damage with buildings being smashed and debris falling; I'm really surpri--" and then out of nowhere for no reason EXPLOSIONS. Sparks and explosions.

Also when the Fallen arrives on Earth he smashes up an aircraft carrier and is hanging off the side with his spear, looking very menacing, but completely ruins the scene by saying "Revenge...is MINE." Revenge on what? A random US battleship that you've never seen before? And who the hell are you speaking to; there's nobody else around except random protoforms!

Also, with regard to the Fallen, there is some serious heavy-handed Emperor Palpatine/Darth Vader shit going on with him and Megatron. When Megatron returns to the Nemesis (the decepticon ship; not like they actually name it in the movie, but it's the Nemesis) we see the Fallen reclining in his command chair, Megatron demurely coming to his side, and the Fallen actually calls Megatron his apprentice. He goes on about how there are no more Primes left to stand against him, and the time for his revenge is now, and it's like "Holy shit it's the emperor in robot form. Decepticons, something something something dark side." It was a little too much for me, but at least the Fallen looks and acts pretty cool. (Aside from the aforementioned revenge quote)

When the movie isn't doing action it's trying to do either SERIOUS DRAMA or LOL JUVENILE HUMOR. Sam and Mikaela's relationship problems are nauseating, the scenes with Sam's mother will probably have you cringing (although, I will admit, I did laugh at some of the things she said...before the pot brownie). There's a scene with two dogs humping on the couch. Sam's roommate is this conspiracy theorist kid who makes money by printing kitten calenders. Yes, kitten calendars. Get used to those words, because when Sam starts to go crazy under the effects of the allspark, KITTEN CALENDARS KITTEN CALENDARS KITTEN CALENDARS. Leo (that's the roommate's name) is insufferable until almost the very end; even John Turturro's character, Simmons, says what everybody in the theater was thinking: "I can't take this kid anymore," and he zaps him with a taser. I'll get back to Simmons later.

There's also this eye candy girl Alice who turns out to be a GODDAMNED PRETENDER with a 10ft. tongue who keeps trying to get into Sam's pants. At least she gets smashed up. Goddamned pretenders, ruined the toyline in the 80s.

Also EINSTEIN WAS WRONG. He was wrong about energy. Look at my scribbles on the chalkboard that prove it.

And then there's Herp and Derp, aka Skids and Mudflap. Now, I've gotta be completely honest here: I ENJOYED THEM. Yeah, I can't believe it either. They're dumb, foul-mouthed, obvious parodies of black people or at least wiggers, and I went into the theater knowing this and expecting to loathe every second they were onscreen...but I couldn't. I found them humorous. Something about two robots calling each other pussies and fighting all the time, and talking shit to everyone else made me laugh.

In the same vein, Wheelie, to a lesser extent, was entertaining at first, but by the end when he started acting like a trained puppy to Mikaela there went his character. At least Herp and Derp fought off Devastator; Wheelie ends up humping Mikaela's leg. That's right, TWO dog humping jokes in ONE movie.

The crotchety old Jetfire was pretty cool. He was the Kup or TF:A Ratchet in this continuity, and he was a likeable character who didn't do or say anything stupid or overstay his welcome.

The end fight was pretty ballsy but over way too fast, the matrix of leadership thing was cool and the way the Transformers harvest energon could really pave the way for Unicron to appear. Prime becomes even more godmode at the end of the film. Starscream and Megatron--who, by the way, have an AWESOME dynamic, almost worth the cost of admission--end the film in true decepticon style by retreating: "Not to call you a coward, Megatron, but sometimes cowards do survive." Although I was a little miffed that Starscream was as completely subservient to Megatron as Megatron was to the Fallen; Megatron has NEVER been a character to be dominated by others (all those who've tried have failed) and we're talking about the same Starscream that, in the Bay continuity, was the first fighter jet to open fire on Megatron at the end of the first film. There were opportunities for some serious betrayal but they never happened. (The comic adaptation of RoTF even has Megatron betraying the Fallen, but it doesn't happen in the movie)

So no doubt there were some great parts, but you have to sit through a LOT to get to them, and once the cast gets to Egypt in the final stretch of the movie those great moments are few and far between. The thing that kept me entertained throughout that portion of the movie was Simmons; in fact, I'm tempted to say that he was my favorite part of the movie, which is saying something coming from me about a movie filled with giant robots.

So it was just OK. In the end I'm slightly disappointed with the movie as a whole, but there were some shining moments for a Transformers fan that make it worth seeing. Anybody else though, you're probably not gonna like it.

Oh, and I almost forgot before I clicked "submit reply," SOUNDWAVE IS AWESOME AND HAS FRANK WELKER'S DR. KLAW VOICE. AND HE SHOOTS RAVAGE OUT OF HIS CHEST, GODDAMN.

 

[CptStern]

A REVIEW FROM SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS ABOUT TRANSFORMERS (SPOILERS AHEAD)

but that means you're biased ..... <runs>

 

[Pi Mu Rho]

tl;dr

 

[MJ12]

I read Darkside's post actually, even though I didn't understand half of it.

It filled me with power to hear his slight disappointment.

 

[Darkside55]

but that means you're biased ..... <runs>

And even I didn't really care for most of it. When you fail to fully capture even the fans who liked the first movie, that's bad.