Best Man "accidentily" raped with dildo of a "statuesque nature''

[CptStern]

A BUCK'S night reveller was completely naked and on his hands and knees when he allegedly was raped by a stripper with a "statuesque'' pink sex toy, a court has heard.

Stripper Linda Maree Naggs, 40, will argue the rape of the best man at the party in the bayside Melbourne suburb of Mornington in September 2007 was an accident.

The alleged victim had volunteered to take part in a dildo routine, but asked the stripper not to penetrate him, the Victorian County Court heard.

As she was performing her routine the man felt a sharp pain and the sex toy enter his anus, it is alleged.

The court heard he later showed the stripper blood he had wiped from his bottom.

Today, Ms Naggs' lawyer Paul Higham held up the dildo to the jury, describing it as being of a "statuesque nature''.

"This is the tool that apparently was used to commit the rape,'' he said.

"The facts of which are quite unique. Certainly, I think we all agree extraordinary.

O_O

http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,25853780-5005962,00.html?from=public_rss

 

[NeptuneUK]

Dildo rape is.

 

[CptStern]

accidental dildo rape moreso

 

[Warped]

at least it didn't get lodged up there, imagine how painful that would be. also my wife will not be doing any of that in my house with my ass...outside maybe, but not in the house

 

[Xevrex]

lolol accidental lolol

 

[bryanf445]

must have forgot to say please

 

[Eejit]

Don't most nude male statues have small peckers?

 

[Tacoeaterguy]

Don't most nude male statues have small peckers?

Noses? Yeah usually.

 

[stemot]

Ouch.

 

[CyberPitz]

Rape is not funny

I've gotta agree.

It's ****ing hilarious.

 

[NeptuneUK]

I've gotta agree.

It's ****ing hilarious.

As it turns out, finding rape funny is funny in itself!

THATS FUNNY-SQUARED BITCHES!

 

[jet_porkins]

If it were any other situation I wouldn't laugh. There's nothing funny about rape.

This is pretty hilarious.

 

[Shamrock]

Hm. When I heard statuesque, I imagined a Statue of Liberty.. statue.. get shoved in there.

 

[NeptuneUK]

Hm. When I heard statuesque, I imagined a Statue of Liberty.. statue.. get shoved in there.

Liberty is hawt.

 

[Shamrock]

Liberty is hawt.

Liberty rape is hawter.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

I like where this is going...:naughty:

 

[Minty The Fox]

Paul Higham held up the dildo to the jury

I dont think I could take a lawyer seriously if he was holding up a statue penis. Groovy.

 

[The Monkey]

A 40-year old stripper?

 

[bryanf445]

A 40-year old stripper?

Hey, people gotta make a living some way or another

 

[13LACKBISHOP]

I dont think I could take a lawyer seriously if he was holding up a statue penis.

With blood on it.

Also what has this guy done to deserve this act of cruelty.

 

[Higlac]

What, no pics?

 

[Gemma]

A 40-year old stripper?

Milf? But still eww..

 

[lefty]

What, no pics?

I am also disappointed.

 

[Raziaar]

Rape is not funny

I agree, though this isn't exactly your typical somber rape story.

 

[ríomhaire]

I really can't see this as a real act of rape. It's not like there was any malicious intention by the stripper and it certainly didn't give her any sexual (or other) gratification, unless she's into messed up shit.

 

[Krynn72]

How the **** is a dildo statuesque? Was it stood up in contrapposto? Or perhaps it was carved out of marble?

 

[swan_song1973]

thats the single best thread title ill ever see.

 

[Narvi]

Poor guy. Still, it's not exactly that traumatic.

I mean, people get things lodged up their buttocks all the time.

at least it didn't get lodged up there, imagine how painful that would be. also my wife will not be doing any of that in my house with my ass...outside maybe, but not in the house

So you wouldn't mind doing it in a hotel?

 

[Danimal]

He was trying to make a joke out of a common phrase, Narvi.

 

[Omnomnick]

Rape isn't normally funny.


But this isn't actually rape. So it is funny.

 

[Danimal]

"No penetration."

Penetration.

How is this not rape?

 

[Narvi]

It was accidental. Or so the stripper claims.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

What if the best man had "accidentally" put his "statuesque penis" inside the stripper.

 

[Gargantou]

Rape is not funny

Agreed, but I bet CptStern is one of those people that only take rape seriously if the victim is a female..

Ugh, pigs.

Rape is awful no matter the gender.

 

[G(ordon)-man]

Haha, dildo manrape. It would be awesome if that stripper was a man before.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

POOTIE TANG

 

[Narvi]

What if the best man had "accidentally" put his "statuesque penis" inside the stripper.

The guy volunteered to participate in the dildo show. It's not like the stripper held him down and violated him for hours. I mean, it's not exactly pleasant, but it could have been accidental.

 

[Lester]

Dildo rape makes me lol

 

[bryanf445]

Dildo rape makes me lol

creepy

 

[Gargantou]

Dildo rape makes me lol

I hope you get raped anally and then orally with the same unwashed dildo by a 70 year old wrinkly man.