So my friend asked me a question that I had no idea how to reply to.

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FoB_Ed said:
Thank you for giving an real response rather than resorting to ad-hominems. That as an interesting point, though. I had not considered that concept in a polyamorous context. Most people have a number of friends that they are close with, and they are able to remain faithful and true to each of them in their respective relationships. Romantic love seems to disrupt such balances, though.
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No problem. That particular issue hits home for me simply because I know quite a few people in polyamourous relationships. Many people believe that those kinds of relationships are not feasible or highly destructive, and although they can sometimes require more effort than monogamy, they can work with good communication between partners and a strong self-identity. If you like, I can point you towards some resources to help you gain a better understanding of this.
 
I have a feeling this thread might end up being iced if this keeps up.... it has a slight shading of the Angry Green Turtle Incident....
 
Nah, FoB_Ed seems to be a lot calmer, he doesn't devolve when people don't agree with him.
 
FoB_Ed said:
Another expected answer. Have you ever heard of a word called repentance? It is the recognition one has violated the objective and transcendent moral order through the spurning of conscience and the misuse of one's will. It recognizes a moral guilt that goes deeper than the discomfort over being exposed. Repentance means turning away from one's wrongdoing, turning toward what is right, embracing goodness, and making right what was wrong - inasmuch as that is in one's power. This is far from repression. I acknowledge my actions and my thoughts, and with an authentic and contrite disposition turn away from them. Call me a homophobe, call me a fagget, it does not matter. If a man does not follow his heart then what does he have?
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Answer honestly: have you been through some kind of therapy to "cure" your homosexual tendencies, or did you just come to these conclusions of your own volition? The way you've been writing in the thread has made me honestly wonder.
 
FoB_Ed said:
As expected, the majority of comments have turned to how much this guy is an asshole rather than addressing his claims.
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but you are being an asshole for using this thread as an excuse to jump on your homophobe soapbox. not surprisingly you completely miss the point and instead blame everyone else for jumping on your seemingly without merit. you're either completely clueless or being intellectually dishonest here. you cant possibly think your opinion is in the majority or even remotely justified given the context of this thread. stop being surprised when you're accused of being a troll because that's what you're doing


FoB_Ed said:
Thank you for giving an real response rather than resorting to ad-hominems. That as an interesting point, though. I had not considered that concept in a polyamorous context. Most people have a number of friends that they are close with, and they are able to remain faithful and true to each of them in their respective relationships. Romantic love seems to disrupt such balances, though.
Click to expand...

lol you still cling to stupid over generalizations by saying that gays can have long term friends but not long term monogamous relationships without providing a shred of evidence. you completely miss his point on purpose I might add as you're so set in your groundless beliefs that not amount of evidence will shake your convictions which kinda points out that any discussion on this issue is pointless. you dont have an open bone in your homophobe body



FoB_Ed said:
Shame? Shame has no purpose in postmodern society. You have no ground on which to stand.
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I dont think that means what you think it means. you're trying too hard to sound intellectual and it actually has the opposite effect


FoB_Ed said:
Another expected answer. Have you ever heard of a word called repentance? It is the recognition one has violated the objective and transcendent moral order through the spurning of conscience and the misuse of one's will. It recognizes a moral guilt that goes deeper than the discomfort over being exposed. Repentance means turning away from one's wrongdoing, turning toward what is right, embracing goodness, and making right what was wrong - inasmuch as that is in one's power. This is far from repression. I acknowledge my actions and my thoughts, and with an authentic and contrite disposition turn away from them.
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complete and utter nonsensical hogwash. stop trying to impose your laughably silly moral code (which you obviously dont even understand) on the rest of us as if it's truth when it's religious based verbal masturbation to placate the non thinking flock at sunday mass

FoB_Ed said:
Call me a homophobe, call me a fagget, it does not matter. If a man does not follow his heart then what does he have?
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lol. follow your heart even though it's not your own sentiment but that of a religious doctrine that's thousands of years old written by people who ascribed miracles to burning bushes and locust storms. ok
 
Man I would hate to be FoB_Ed right now.
 
CptStern said:
lol you still cling to stupid over generalizations by saying that gays can have long term friends but not long term monogamous relationships without providing a shred of evidence. you completely miss his point on purpose I might add as you're so set in your groundless beliefs that not amount of evidence will shake your convictions which kinda points out that any discussion on this issue is pointless. you dont have an open bone in your homophobe body
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I'm not saying this as a defense of fob or his views, but it really kind of annoys me when people launch right into "you didn't change your mind therefore you're not as open minded as me" after only a few exchanges, especially when they consist of mostly insults and telling the other person to shut up. You of all people should know that internet arguments do not work that way. You're actually living proof that they don't.
 
BabyHeadCrab said:
how do I reply to someone asking "am I gay?". Please advise.
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-Dude, am I gay?
-Gay as in "I like men" gay or as in "I look too handsome to be a straight guy" gay?
-First one
-I dunno man, are you?

1 - I think so --> Don't climb beach rocks with Earl alone again
2 - No man --> Don't climb beach rocks with Earl alone again, just in case.



On a more serious note, if you feel uncomfortable talking about the matter just don't. If you're alright with it then just ask why Earl asked if you think he's gay, there's no algorithm on how to react when people ask you whether they're gay or not..
 
Maybe he means gay as in happy. Ask him if he's happy.
 
One might say making a thread asking for advice when you're already clearly capable and ready to deal with your friend being gay is the foolish thing.

But I know you better than that.
 
Krynn72 said:
Wow man... just wow. I don't have time to really get into it right now, but like god damn. I'm sure someone else will explain how ****ed up that is. Also, I don't understand how your last sentence makes any sense given the rest of that paragraph. Are you seriously that much of a hypocrite?
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Yes, I actually am. I know exactly what kind of person I am. Don't you?

MFL said:
Wow, that's the most pretentious, arrogant thing I've ever ****ing heard.
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So you are a relativist. That is fair enough

Bad^Hat said:
Answer honestly: have you been through some kind of therapy to "cure" your homosexual tendencies, or did you just come to these conclusions of your own volition? The way you've been writing in the thread has made me honestly wonder.
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If you are talking about some type of ex-gay thing, then no, I haven't. Nor have I seen a therapist. However, I have consulted several physicians on the matter and they have helped me tremendously. There are a few that I would list but I don't want to even associate myself or my claims with their writings since they are that noble.

CptStern said:
but you are being an asshole for using this thread as an excuse to jump on your homophobe soapbox. not surprisingly you completely miss the point and instead blame everyone else for jumping on your seemingly without merit. you're either completely clueless or being intellectually dishonest here. you cant possibly think your opinion is in the majority or even remotely justified given the context of this thread. stop being surprised when you're accused of being a troll because that's what you're doing
Click to expand...

I did not come into this thread with that intention. I suggested that his friend not pursue homosexuality since that can often lead to a whole host of otherwise avoidable problems, and people attacked me. I have no ill will towards people who are gay and wish them peace.

lol you still cling to stupid over generalizations by saying that gays can have long term friends but not long term monogamous relationships without providing a shred of evidence. you completely miss his point on purpose I might add as you're so set in your groundless beliefs that not amount of evidence will shake your convictions which kinda points out that any discussion on this issue is pointless. you dont have an open bone in your homophobe body
Click to expand...

More personal attacks. If you have an argument to make, please try and make it. You suggest that no amount of evidence would change my mind, however no evidence has been provided. I at least referenced a couple of studies. I suppose that I could get more research, but there have not been claims presented that require them.


complete and utter nonsensical hogwash. stop trying to impose your laughably silly moral code (which you obviously dont even understand) on the rest of us as if it's truth when it's religious based verbal masturbation to placate the non thinking flock at sunday mass
Click to expand...

"lol you still cling to stupid over generalizations". It is not so much a matter of morals for me it is a matter of health. People are (usually) able to discern whether thoughts/actions are healthy for them, or unhealthy for them. For example, I smoked weed for a semi-frequent basis for a number of years. While I told myself that it was perfectly healthy and fairly harmless, there was a lingering thought at the back of my mind that I should stop. Eventually I began to realize that it was aggravating my anxiety and negatively affecting my emotional well-being. I decided to stop many months ago and have since been able to manage my anxiety much better. While I had a lot of fun and enjoyed smoking very much at times in the past, I often wish now that I had listened to that voice and never started smoking habitually. I am not suggesting that using marijuana is immoral or wrong, but for me it is something that it is better not to do.

It is the same with many other habits that I have had - eating fast food, binging on electronic entertainment, drinking excessively too often, thinking negative/hateful thoughts about others, and so on. I have more peace of mind and feel much healthier emotionally and mentally when I follow my instincts and don't indulge in such behaviors. I consider errant sexual thoughts in the same realm. Our thoughts determine our lives. Since I have a girlfriend that I care deeply about, I do my best to remain faithful to her in both body and mind. A person can't control which thoughts enter their mind but they can certainly control whether they nurture that thought or not. I haven't had the temptation to think about homosexual sex in a long time now. I am sure that if I started to watch pornography or began to masturbate a lot more then those types of ideas would come much more frequently.

lol. follow your heart even though it's not your own sentiment but that of a religious doctrine that's thousands of years old written by people who ascribed miracles to burning bushes and locust storms. ok
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As if you could possibly know this. Until you have something to say other than typical anti-religious responses (though I am not religious), please refrain from replying. I am sure someone said something on fox news that you could post about in the politics forum instead.
 
I'm still waiting to hear more about an objective moral order.
 
FoB_Ed said:
Yes, I actually am. I know exactly what kind of person I am. Don't you?



So you are a relativist. That is fair enough



If you are talking about some type of ex-gay thing, then no, I haven't. Nor have I seen a therapist. However, I have consulted several physicians on the matter and they have helped me tremendously. There are a few that I would list but I don't want to even associate myself or my claims with their writings since they are that noble.



I did not come into this thread with that intention. I suggested that his friend not pursue homosexuality since that can often lead to a whole host of otherwise avoidable problems, and people attacked me. I have no ill will towards people who are gay and wish them peace.



More personal attacks. If you have an argument to make, please try and make it. You suggest that no amount of evidence would change my mind, however no evidence has been provided. I at least referenced a couple of studies. I suppose that I could get more research, but there have not been claims presented that require them.




"lol you still cling to stupid over generalizations". It is not so much a matter of morals for me it is a matter of health. People are (usually) able to discern whether thoughts/actions are healthy for them, or unhealthy for them. For example, I smoked weed for a semi-frequent basis for a number of years. While I told myself that it was perfectly healthy and fairly harmless, there was a lingering thought at the back of my mind that I should stop. Eventually I began to realize that it was aggravating my anxiety and negatively affecting my emotional well-being. I decided to stop many months ago and have since been able to manage my anxiety much better. While I had a lot of fun and enjoyed smoking very much at times in the past, I often wish now that I had listened to that voice and never started smoking habitually. I am not suggesting that using marijuana is immoral or wrong, but for me it is something that it is better not to do.

It is the same with many other habits that I have had - eating fast food, binging on electronic entertainment, drinking excessively too often, thinking negative/hateful thoughts about others, and so on. I have more peace of mind and feel much healthier emotionally and mentally when I follow my instincts and don't indulge in such behaviors. I consider errant sexual thoughts in the same realm. Our thoughts determine our lives. Since I have a girlfriend that I care deeply about, I do my best to remain faithful to her in both body and mind. A person can't control which thoughts enter their mind but they can certainly control whether they nurture that thought or not. I haven't had the temptation to think about homosexual sex in a long time now. I am sure that if I started to watch pornography or began to masturbate a lot more then those types of ideas would come much more frequently.



As if you could possibly know this. Until you have something to say other than typical anti-religious responses (though I am not religious), please refrain from replying. I am sure someone said something on fox news that you could post about in the politics forum instead.
Click to expand...

 
FoB_Ed said:
"lol you still cling to stupid over generalizations". It is not so much a matter of morals for me it is a matter of health. People are (usually) able to discern whether thoughts/actions are healthy for them, or unhealthy for them. For example, I smoked weed for a semi-frequent basis for a number of years. While I told myself that it was perfectly healthy and fairly harmless, there was a lingering thought at the back of my mind that I should stop. Eventually I began to realize that it was aggravating my anxiety and negatively affecting my emotional well-being. I decided to stop many months ago and have since been able to manage my anxiety much better. While I had a lot of fun and enjoyed smoking very much at times in the past, I often wish now that I had listened to that voice and never started smoking habitually. I am not suggesting that using marijuana is immoral or wrong, but for me it is something that it is better not to do.

It is the same with many other habits that I have had - eating fast food, binging on electronic entertainment, drinking excessively too often, thinking negative/hateful thoughts about others, and so on. I have more peace of mind and feel much healthier emotionally and mentally when I follow my instincts and don't indulge in such behaviors. I consider errant sexual thoughts in the same realm. Our thoughts determine our lives. Since I have a girlfriend that I care deeply about, I do my best to remain faithful to her in both body and mind. A person can't control which thoughts enter their mind but they can certainly control whether they nurture that thought or not. I haven't had the temptation to think about homosexual sex in a long time now. I am sure that if I started to watch pornography or began to masturbate a lot more then those types of ideas would come much more frequently.
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"Temptation" is such an interesting word to use when describing homosexual thoughts. I hate My Little Pony, yet I'd never describe myself as having the "temptation" to watch the entire series in a marathon.
 
FoB_Ed said:
but for me it is something that it is better not to do.
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I believe you've just nixed your entire argument.

Who are you to decide whether someone should take one path as opposed to another? BHC asked for advice on how he should tackle an awkward subject unexpectedly brought up by a friend. What you offered instead was a moralistic sermon on how 'being homo ****s you up'. You missed the point entirely. If you wish to class this as a personal attack too, feel free.

Anyway, BHC, Krynn answered it perfectly in the first place when he said tell him it won't make a difference to you if he is or not. All some people need is knowing there is at least one person who'll be there as a friend to support them.
 
bobtheskull said:
I believe you've just nixed your entire argument.

Who are you to decide whether someone should take one path as opposed to another? BHC asked for advice on how he should tackle an awkward subject unexpectedly brought up by a friend. What you offered instead was a moralistic sermon on how 'being homo ****s you up'. You missed the point entirely. If you wish to class this as a personal attack too, feel free.

Anyway, BHC, Krynn answered it perfectly in the first place when he said tell him it won't make a difference to you if he is or not. All some people need is knowing there is at least one person who'll be there as a friend to support them.
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Hardly, I would not encourage anyone to smoke marijuana on a regular basis. That is a whole other argument, though. And you are correct, it is not for me to decide. A man acts according to his own will. If other people want to destroy themselves, that is their choice. If somebody wanted to start doing meth I would have argued in a similar way. But apparently there is only one valid answer to his question.


Stigmata said:
"Temptation" is such an interesting word to use when describing homosexual thoughts. I hate My Little Pony, yet I'd never describe myself as having the "temptation" to watch the entire series in a marathon.
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Why is that? A temptation is an urge to do something that one might temporarily enjoy but will later regret. Watching My Little Pony may not be a temptation because it is not pleasurable. But then a person's urges do not stay constant throughout their life. Perhaps I will wake up tomorrow and want to watch My Little Pony. Many experts are now saying that sexual orientation is fluid, and can shift radically during a person's life. That appeals to me for multiple reasons...mainly because it tends to regard sexuality in an experiential sense rather than a systematic one.
 
FoB_Ed said:
Many experts are now saying that sexual orientation is fluid, and can shift radically during a person's life. That appeals to me for multiple reasons...mainly because it tends to regard sexuality in an experiential sense rather than a systematic one.
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You are a confusing person.
 
He's more or less quoting a lot of Foucault, haha -which is very, very strange considering his stance on some of these issues
 
He's had more twists than a pretzel factory in this thread. Is it any wonder he's confusing? It sounds more like he's basing his life choices on what 'experts' say, rather than what he feels, while expressing to us that it's what he feels that drive him. If these same experts later today say that 'posting in a gaming forum about the de-merits of sexual behavior is damaging to your mental well being', will he go away? o_O
 
BabyHeadCrab said:
He's more or less quoting a lot of Foucault, haha -which is very, very strange considering his stance on some of these issues
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Ha, that's funny. I actually studied a bit of Foucault in school a few years ago. Although it was mostly just the History of Madness. I got a copy of the History of Sexuality a while back at a used books store but never started it. I really enjoyed his work, though. I just started rereading Levinas' Totality and Infinity so I'll have to add it to the list.
 
put your cock in his mouth, if he sucks...well..the answer has been revealed.
 
FoB_Ed said:
Ha, that's funny. I actually studied a bit of Foucault in school a few years ago. Although it was mostly just the History of Madness. I got a copy of the History of Sexuality a while back at a used books store but never started it. I really enjoyed his work, though. I just started rereading Levinas' Totality and Infinity so I'll have to add it to the list.
Click to expand...

Here is the history of sexuality: your mother should have swallowed you.

BOOM. roasted
 
Wow what quality to be found in these last couple of posts. Keep it up.
 
One of my best friends just came out as gay. I have no problem with gay people, and I think it is perfectly normal and very respectable. Your friend must feel comfortable around you because some people don't like telling others because they might be offended. The best think to do is be accepting and let him know that it densest change your friendship. Maybe even give him a bro fist.
 
I had to log in after eons just to mention that this thread is gold. Pure gold. :D

On topic: tell him there's no need to label it if he likes the D.
 
MuToiD_MaN said:
Careful, Canada's readying its mounties to deport you for your insufficient politeness.
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If we had the transcendent, objective moral order explained to us by the supreme consciousness of Fob_Ed we could actually be the judge of that.
 
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